Family & Divorce Mediation Articles
When Divorce Means Re-Entering The Job Market (6/01/09)
Laurie Israel
In working with divorcing couples, reemployment of an “at-home” spouse is a recurring theme. This is usually (but not always) the wife, who needs to enter the job market after the divorce. An analysis of the finances of a divorce case generally leads to the stark truth that the family unit (now divided into two households) cannot live on the earned income that was being brought into the household prior to the divorce.
The 140-Page Majority Prop 8 Opinion In A Single Paragraph (6/01/09)
Victoria Pynchon
Best summary of the 140 page majority opinion (.pdf of opinion here) in Reading the Decision at the Daily Dish by Andrew Sullivan. This opinion eviscerates and then upholds Proposition 8 as constitutionally inoffensive.
Asking The Questions (5/25/09)
Debra Synovec
Choosing your divorce mediator is personal. Think about it. You’ll be discussing and making decisions about the things you care about most…..your children, your home, your money, your future, your security, your life. Interview the mediator, ask questions, and make sure they are knowledgeable, dedicated and compassionate. If they will not talk with you before you start, don’t hire them. I have never met a dedicated, compassionate, knowledgeable mediator that is unwilling to talk with a potential client.
Marital Mediation: An Emerging Area Of Practice (5/18/09)
Susan K. Boardman, John Fiske, Laurie Israel, Ken Neumann
This article describes the process of “Marital Mediation” as a relatively new field of family mediation, designed to keep couples together using established family mediation techniques. Previously many of these techniques were used solely in divorce mediation. We begin by describing what the process involves, how it differs from both couples counseling and divorce mediation, and why we believe it often works for couples when counseling has not. We also discuss suggestions for promoting the development of Marital Mediation using both research and marketing techniques.
Care-Full Conversations: Elder Mediation And Family Decision-Making (5/18/09)
Susan Curcio M.A.
Elder Mediation is a tool that can be used to facilitate difficult decisions for aging adults and their families. Issues regarding the health and safety of a loved one may involve legal and financial considerations which can cause family tensions. The role of the mediator is to assist families in arriving at their own solutions while preserving or improving relationships among the members. Opening the channels of communication may make the job of an attorney or financial adviser easier and more cost-effective.
Addressing The Imbalance Of Power In Elder Mediation Cases (5/04/09)
John Bertschler, Patricia Bertschler
This chapter is devoted to the complex process of identifying where a power imbalance exists in mediation and dealing with those situations in a productive and compassionate fashion.
Mediation As Sales And Niche Mediation Practice With Jim Melamed Of Mediate.Com (4/27/09)
Victoria Pynchon
I traveled to the ABA DRS conference in New York City last week with my new video camera. I apologize for my lack of skill with it and with Mac's iMovie. Below, Jim talks about mediate.com's services; its commitment to the further development of the profession; and, mediate.com's commitment to negotiated resolutions in the political sphere.
Elder Decisions Scores Major Marketing Success With NPR (4/13/09)
Tammy Lenski
The folks at Elder Decisions have scored another major P.R. success with today’s National Public Radio feature, Mediators Help Families with Tough Choices of Aging.
Book Review: The Healthy Divorce: Keys to Ending Your Marriage While Preserving your Emotional Well-Being (4/10/09)
Joan B. Kelly
This book is an updated version of Between Love and Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce, originally published in 1992. At that time, I was troubled by the continuing portrayal by the American media and movies of American divorces as destructive, poisonous, hateful processes and behaviors reminiscent of War of the Rose, and widely recommended Lois Gold’s book to mental health and legal professionals and separating partners and spouses to educate them about a better way to separate and divorce.
Marital Mediation For Family Mediators (4/07/09)
John Fiske
If you are a family mediator, you might expand your practice to offer mediation to help couples stay married. The process, called “marital mediation,” uses the specific settlement focus of mediation to preserve a marriage in ways not attempted by family therapy. The process uses your family mediation skills to help couples negotiate new terms for their marriage. Couples may use mediation to enter into a written post-marital contract defining their own solutions.
Concurrent Mediation Of Parental Disputes And Of Parent-Teen Conflicts (3/30/09)
Cory Mathews
The article examines the dilemma for parents facing disputes over parenting arrangements for teenagers. It describes the complex intersection of teen development and parental decision-making. It can be particularly difficult for parents to resolve the disputes between themselves while teens are asserting their own independence. Parents may be faced with increasing conflicts with their ex-partner and with their teen at the same time. The article suggests that mediators explore the opportunity for concurrent mediation, in which parent-teen mediation is offered at the same time as domestic relations mediation between parents. The article suggests that the combination may yield positive results on both conflict-laden fronts.
Top Ten Ways To Protect Your Kids From The Fallout Of A High Conflict Break-Up (3/23/09)
Joan B. Kelly
Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. is a groundbreaking clinical psychologist and researcher who began studying the
impact of divorce on children in 1968. Joan is an author, therapist, mediator, and parenting coordinator
with four decades of experience working with high conflict parents who are separating.
Everything is Negotiable (3/23/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
We Americans generally accept the stated price of goods and services as non-negotiable. I found this assumption to be inaccurate before the financial downturn. It is even more inaccurate now.
Choose Facilitation! (3/16/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
So the first thing to ask a mediator is: Do you use a facilitave style or an evaluative or directive style?
A Glimmer of Light: Divorce & Breakups May Not Feel As Bad As You Think (3/16/09)
Rina Goodman
In the beginning, there is disbelief and fear. Questions such as, "What am I going to do?"; "How will I live on my own?"; and "How can I sleep without holding someone?" come spilling forth. The caller continues to speak, but I am not expected to answer. So I listen.
Don't Use "Force" (3/09/09)
Bill Eddy
“I won’t force the children to go with the other parent,” is one of the statements I hear sometimes from parents going through a separation or divorce. This statement has become so common (three times in one day recently), that a short article on this subject may be helpful.
Finding Your Divorce Mediator! (3/03/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
Locating a qualified divorce mediator is essential and significant to the process. The mediator is your guide throughout the divorce mediation process. At first locating a mediator may seem like looking for a needle in a haystack because divorce mediators have all sorts of backgrounds and abilities, from lawyers to therapists to financial professionals and many in between. One difficulty is that in most states anyone can hang their shingle and mediate.
So how do you distinguish a really good mediator from a so-so mediator?
Mediation Steps (2/23/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
What are the steps involved in mediation?
Relationships Matter (2/16/09)
Phyllis Pollack
Every mediator can tell the tale in which the parties are discussing possible mediators for a mediation and because one party has used a particular mediator before, the other party refuses to agree to use that mediator.
Saying Good-bye! (2/16/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
Tip: Remember to NOT fall in love with a particular asset. It may be best to simply say good-bye.
A Question Of Ethics (2/09/09)
Darrell Puls More and more frequently I hear complaints about mediators who tell their clients what is or is not acceptable, particularly for settlements in divorce cases. So much for self-determination and impartiality!
Key To The Puzzle! (2/09/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec Divorce mediation is a client centered, transparent, flexible process that allows clients to create a plan that meets their unique needs and goals based on their circumstances. But what if the divorce clients do not have the information and skills they need to make decisions?
Chose Your Future! (2/03/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec
Mediation House Calls For Divorcing Couples (1/19/09)
Diane J. Levin Although I hate to admit it, I’m actually old enough to remember the days when the family doctor made house calls.
Money Talk! (1/19/09)
Nancy Hudgins, Debra Synovec Most people don't have piles of money to burn....especially when they are getting divorced!
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